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Love, in the Abstract
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0223
Comic no. 223
Date published c. September 2005
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"A Blissful Marriage" "Groggy, Groggy, Groggy"
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Vaarsuvius has a few words about love.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar: I don't get those humans. If they're just going to make each other miserable, why did she bother asking us to rescue the old bastard?
Vaarsuvius: The forces that bind two people together are among the most chaotic and unpredictable in the universe.
Durkon: Aye, ain't that tha truth.

Panel 2

Vaarsuvius: Sometimes, people find themselves in love despite having nothing in common. Each brings out hidden qualities in the other, until they arrive at a sort of equilibrium.

Panel 3

Elan: I'm surprised you didn't ask the farmers for a reward.
Haley: What was I going to do, take a percentage of their dirt?

Panel 4

Haley: Besides, it was kinda fun, and we got to beat up some ogres.
Elan: Well, even so, I'm really proud of you, Haley.

Panel 5

Haley blushes.

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: On the other hand, two people can seem to have everything in common, and still be utterly wrong for one another.
Vaarsuvius: Not that it will stop them from slamming their respective heads into the brick will of romantic futility.

Panel 7

Roy: Look, you can't treat people like they're your hirelings all of the time.
Miko: Yes, I can. You are all my prisoners, so you must all obey my orders.

Panel 8

Roy: Prisoners, yes. Slaves, no. They really don't NEED to follow orders. It would be nice if you could bother to learn their names, or treat them with some respect.
Roy: You need to compromise a little.

Panel 9

Roy: A paladin never compromises.
Roy: Does a paladin ever remove the stick from their ass?
Miko: No. It's a class feature.

Panel 10

Belkar: Blech. This is all a waste of time. I'll stick with my ale and whores, thank you very much.
Vaarsuvius: This is to be expected from one who has trouble with the concept that other people deserve to exist.
Durkon: Vaarsuvius, how'd ye ever learn so much aboot how folks fall in love? Ye don't seem tha type, really.

Panel 11

Vaarsuvius: Only through empirical experience did I arrive at such knowledge.
Vaarsuvius: It took my mate and I many years to acknowledge our feelings for one another. Our wedding was the finest day of my long life.

Panel 12

Durkon and Belkar stare at Vaarsuvius.

Panel 13

Durkon: Yer MARRIED?!?
Belkar: So... many... questions...

D&D Context Edit

  • "Hireling" is the general term used for a laborer the characters employ.
  • Paladins have a reputation for being a pain because they have to be Lawful Good and if they're party doesn't follow their code they will lose their Paladin abilities.

Trivia Edit

  • Vaarsuvius reveals that V is married.
  • The bi-weekly discussion page for strips #222-#227 was lost in a purge of the forum at giantitp.com. Exact publishing dates for these strips are not publicly known at this time, though presumably the Giant knows.

External Links Edit

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