|“Love, in the Abstract”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||c. September 2005|
|View the comic|
Vaarsuvius has a few words about love.
- The Order of the Stick
- Miko Miyazaki ◀ ▶
- Panel 1
Belkar: I don't get those humans. If they're just going to make each other miserable, why did she bother asking us to rescue the old bastard?
Vaarsuvius: The forces that bind two people together are among the most chaotic and unpredictable in the universe.
Durkon: Aye, ain't that tha truth.
- Panel 2
Vaarsuvius: Sometimes, people find themselves in love despite having nothing in common. Each brings out hidden qualities in the other, until they arrive at a sort of equilibrium.
- Panel 3
Elan: I'm surprised you didn't ask the farmers for a reward.
Haley: What was I going to do, take a percentage of their dirt?
- Panel 4
Haley: Besides, it was kinda fun, and we got to beat up some ogres.
Elan: Well, even so, I'm really proud of you, Haley.
- Panel 5
- Panel 6
Vaarsuvius: On the other hand, two people can seem to have everything in common, and still be utterly wrong for one another.
Vaarsuvius: Not that it will stop them from slamming their respective heads into the brick will of romantic futility.
- Panel 7
Roy: Look, you can't treat people like they're your hirelings all of the time.
Miko: Yes, I can. You are all my prisoners, so you must all obey my orders.
- Panel 8
Roy: Prisoners, yes. Slaves, no. They really don't NEED to follow orders. It would be nice if you could bother to learn their names, or treat them with some respect.
Roy: You need to compromise a little.
- Panel 9
Roy: A paladin never compromises.
Roy: Does a paladin ever remove the stick from their ass?
Miko: No. It's a class feature.
- Panel 10
Belkar: Blech. This is all a waste of time. I'll stick with my ale and whores, thank you very much.
Vaarsuvius: This is to be expected from one who has trouble with the concept that other people deserve to exist.
Durkon: Vaarsuvius, how'd ye ever learn so much aboot how folks fall in love? Ye don't seem tha type, really.
- Panel 11
Vaarsuvius: Only through empirical experience did I arrive at such knowledge.
Vaarsuvius: It took my mate and I many years to acknowledge our feelings for one another. Our wedding was the finest day of my long life.
- Panel 12
Durkon and Belkar stare at Vaarsuvius.
- Panel 13
Durkon: Yer MARRIED?!?
Belkar: So... many... questions...
D&D Context Edit
- "Hireling" is the general term used for a laborer the characters employ.
- Paladins have a reputation for being a pain because they have to be Lawful Good and if they're party doesn't follow their code they will lose their Paladin abilities.
- Vaarsuvius reveals that he/she is married.
- The bi-weekly discussion page for strips #222-#227 was lost in a purge of the forum at giantitp.com. Exact publishing dates for these strips are not publicly known at this time, though presumably the Giant knows.