He's Still a Dwarf at Heart
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 170
Date published 18 April 2005
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"The Enemy of My Enemy is a Tree" "The Prisoner Dilemma"
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Durkon wields his newfound power wisely.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Durkon: Wake up, Roy. Ye are tha last ta be healed today!
Durkon: Cure Critical Wounds!

Panel 2

Roy: Wha—Durkon??
Durkon: Tha's Bandit King Durkon to you, laddie!
Roy: Part of me wants to know the story behind that, while the other, smarter part of me knows it's better off in ignorance.

Panel 3

Roy: Well, it's at least nice to see that you've calmed down about the trees.
Durkon: Aye, lad. I've sent twenty of me best bandit warriors to hold the perimeter against the terrible tree invaders.

Panel 4

Cut to the bandits holding the perimeter.
Eyepatched Bandit: So.
Mustached Bandit: Ayup.

Panel 5

Cut back to the party. Elan holds a sandwich.
Durkon: And while ye were unconscious, I had tha Bandit Trailblazer draw us a map to tha lost meteor, tha Bandit Quart'rmast'r replenish our supplies, an' tha Bandit Sandwich Artisan prepare a light lunch fer tha road.
Elan: Mmmm! Tuna salad!

Panel 6

Belkar: This is sweet! Now we've got a bunch of lackeys to hang out and do stuff for us!
Durkon: Nay, laddie, thar be one more order I need to give here.

Panel 7

Durkon: Attention! Banditry's na tha answer ta yer problems. 'Tis wrong and also dangerous. Ye are surround'd by deadly trees an' ye have na sufficient force ta make a real go of it. One a' these days, yer just gonna end up trying to rob like a level 16 fighter by accident and get massacred.
Durkon: Thus, fer yer own safety, I order ye to all leave tha forest an' return ta the lives ye left behind.

Panel 8

Dark Guard Bandit: So wait... you're breaking up the bandit clan?
Durkon: Aye, lad. Run home ta yer family, they be waitin' for ye, I reckon.
Roy: Wow, Durkon, I'm impressed. Giving up all that power, just to ensure the safety of your followers.
Belkar: Well there goes my plan to have them all fight to the death for our amusement...

Panel 9

Durkon: Thor teaches us ta work fer our own bounties, na ta take them off tha backs o' others.
Durkon: Sure I could have used tha bandits fer me personal gain, but how would tha make me any differ'nt than tha sorcerer lass or her pa?

Panel 10

A bandit shows up with a giant tankard of beer on a cart.
Durkon: It's tha kind o' selflessness when tempted tha separates tha wise from tha foolish, I think.
Light Guard Bandit: Sir, before we go, where would you like your giant gold tankard filled with beer?
Durkon: Right there is fine, lad.

D&D Context Edit

  • Level 20 is the highest level in the Player's Handbook, so 16 is considered a high-level adventurer.
  • Cure Critical Wounds is 4th-level Cleric spell that restores HP.

Trivia Edit

  • "WWTD?" is found inscribed at the bottom of the golden tankard. Durkon has the initialism in his divine focus, as seen in #73.
  • This is the final appearance of the Light Guard Bandit, Dark Guard Bandit, and the Short-Haired Bandit Girl. They first appeared in #152.
  • This is the final appearance of Mustached Bandit and Eyepatched Bandit. They first appeared in #159.
  • This is the final appearance of the Elf Bandit, who first appeared in #164.

External Links Edit

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