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The group divides the magical items from their adventure.

Cast[]

Transcript[]

Panel 1

Vaarsuvius: Gather round, allies, for I have endeavored to discern the true function of these items of mystic power, and now we shall each choose from among them in the order determined by the drawing of straws.

Panel 2

Vaarsuvius: Durkon, you pick first.
Durkon: Aye, I'll be takin' the Amulet o' Natural Arm'r. It be sendin' me AC into tha stratosphere.
Belkar: He can pronounce "stratosphere", but not "the"?

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: Belkar, you are next.
Belkar: No question, give me the Ring of Jumping +20.
Vaarsuvius: Really?
Belkar: A magic item that can allow me to rain death from above on my enemies AND lets me reach stuff on the top shelf? Done.

Panel 4

Vaarsuvius: For my reward, I shall choose the very Ring of Wizardry pried off of Xykon's charred fingerbone. Haley, you are next.

Panel 5

Haley: I'll take the Bag of Holding.
Elan: Don't you have like 7 of those already?
Haley: You can never have enough extradimensional storage space.

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: Elan, you shall choose next. There are two magic items remaining: the pair of boots and the other bag.
Roy: Say "bag", say "bag", say "bag".
Elan: Boots.
Roy: Crap.

Panel 7

Vaarsuvius: OK, Elan, the Boots of Elvenkind are yours.
Elan: They're the elveniest boots ever!
Vaarsuvius: Roy, you get the last magic item—the Bag of Tricks.
Roy: Again—crap.

Panel 8

Haley: Bag of Tricks? What does that do?
Roy: Prepare to be underwhelmed.

Panel 9

Roy tosses a ball of fur from the bag into the air.

Panel 10

With a "pop!", it turns into a mouse.

Panel 11

Haley: It...makes mice??
Roy: Oh, not just mice. Cats, and rats, and bats, and weasels, and probably striped burrow owls, as long as they're completely useless in battle.
Mouse: Squeak

Panel 12

Haley: Wow, that just sucks, Roy. What kind of wizard spends his time making such a stupid magic item?

Panel 13

Cut away to a collection of drunk wizards
Drunk Wizard #1: Whoa, OK, seriously, dudes. I got it. A bag...that you can pull animals out of.
Drunk Wizard #2: That rocks.
Drunk Wizard #3: I love you guys.

D&D Context[]

  • All of the magical items featured exist in the game:
    • Amulet of Natural Armor provides a bonus to a character's Armor Class.
    • Ring of Jumping improves a character's Jump Skill Check.
    • Ring of Wizardry increases the amount of spells a character can cast per day.
    • Bag of Holding is a bag that is bigger on the inside.
    • Boots of Elvenkind provide a bonus to a character's Move Silently Skill Check.
    • Bag of Tricks produces balls of fuzz that, when thrown, turn into animals that are under control of the character. In canonical D&D, crafting a Bag of Tricks requires the caster to know the Summon Nature's Ally (II, III, IV) spell, so wizards cannot craft the item, but Order of the Stick's version here has wizards inventing the item while drunk. Presumably they are made using a different spell, perhaps the various Summon Monster spells.

Trivia[]

External Links[]

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