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Literally Heartless

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Literally Heartless
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS1046
Comic no. 1046
Date published 1 August 2016
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"Studying Up" "Perhaps a Few Mini-Revolutions"
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Eugene and Roy have a talk about emotional magic versus "actual" magic.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy: Hey, Dad. Right on time to warn me that Xykon has left Azure City, I see.
Eugene: That's not my fault! Blame that stupid pigsticker you're playing with!

Panel 2

Roy: Excuse me?
Eugene: That sword is the link that lets me manifest—but I can only show up when you're alone or everyone around you is asleep or whatever.

Panel 3

Eugene (inset): The first time everyone around you was out of it, so were you!
Flashback to the Order of the Stick trapped in Girard Draketooth's illusion. Eugene is there, yelling at Roy.
Eugene: We did not raise you to fail Will saves against phantasms, young man!

Panel 4

Roy: Huh. I just assumed you were trying to be spooky and dramatic by only appearing at night...
Eugene: I was! Which is why I didn't know until now, either!

Panel 5

Roy: Sorry, then. I didn't know. Thanks for making the effort.
Eugene: Well, you're welcome, for all the good it did.

Panel 6

Roy: OK, you're here now, so I don't suppose you could give me any tips about activating my sword.
Eugene: Well, you could—
Roy: Without another crude joke.
Eugene: Oh. No, then.

Panel 7

Roy: It's a fairly powerful effect when it boosts me up. I get faster for a minute or so, and the green fire does a lot of extra damage.
Eugene: Bah. If you want to hurt someone with fire, just manipulate thermodynamic differentials with your fingers, like a normal person.

Panel 8

Roy: I'm a little unclear on how often I can summon it, though. It seems to be based on my state of mine, when I feel a kind of... righteous fury. No, not fury—
Roy: —assurance. Confidence.
Roy: But I think there's some kind of hard daily limit, too.

Panel 9

Eugene: Ugh, that wishy-washy emotional magic is garbage!
Eugene: It's completely out of control! You never know what effect you'll get, how long it'll last, or how strong it'll be. Useless!
Eugene: If you ask me, we should all stay away from that touchy-feely claptrap and focus solely on what can be predicted with a high degree of statistical accuracy.

Panel 10

Roy: Gee, with that enlightened view, I can't imagine why your marriage had problems.
Eugene: Zip it. If anything, I had too much of that sentimental hogwash while I was alive.
Eugene: If I'd focused more on my magic, I might've polished off this Xykon thing myself.

Panel 11

Eugene: Let's be honest: Now that I'm dead, I can see that choosing to spend so much of my limited time on my family was a terrible decision, rationally speaking.
Eugene: What wizard worth his or her salt could look back and conclude that all that relationship stuff wasn't a huge waste of time that would've been better off devoted to more study?

Panel 12

Cut to Vaarsuvius, who is floating in his or her room, looking at a picture of Inkyrius with a sad expression.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the final appearance thus far of Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius' mate. Inkyrius has sued for divorce, which V agreed to in #679. She first appeared in #629.

External Links Edit

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