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Dramatic Pre-Battle Speech
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0104
Comic no. 104
Date published 19 September 2004
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"Practice Makes Perfect" "Hordes of Xykon"
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Roy makes the requisite pre-battle speech. However, it just doesn't match up with reality.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The Order stands in front of a door. Belkar has just killed a goblin.
Roy: Hey, Belkar, could you wrap that up and listen here?
Roy: This is it. According to Elan's directions, Xykon's throne room is on the other side of this door here.

Panel 2

Roy: We have no idea to what lengths Xykon will go to utterly destroy us once we enter this room.

Panel 3

Cut to the throne room.
Xykon: Remember, guys, we want one of these schmucks to open my gate for me, so let one or two of them live.

Panel 4

Cut back to Roy.
Roy: Or what fiendish plans his minions have in store for us.

Panel 5

Cut to Redcloak, who sets up a buffet table with a banner above it that says "Welcome Order of the Stick"
Demon Cockroach: Nice spread.

Panel 6

Cut back to Roy.
Roy: What we do know for sure is that Haley is in mortal danger even as I speak.

Panel 7

Cut to Haley, elsewhere in the dungeon. Haley has just incapacitated a goblin and collected some gold it.
Haley: 436 gp that I don't have to split with the party, 437 gp that I don't have to split with the party, 438 gp...
Goblin: The pain...

Panel 8

Roy: And we also know that we are going to kick that bony necromancer's scrawny undead ass right now!
Belkar: Hell yeah!

Panel 9

Roy: Demihumans, start your castings.
Vaarsuvius: Bull's Strength!
Durkon: Shield of Faith!

Panel 10

Roy: And the most important buff yet?
Durkon: Disruption!

Panel 11

Roy: Everyone ready?
Elan: Yup!
Durkon: Aye, lad.
Vaarsuvius: I am.
Belkar: Kick ass.

Panel 12

Roy kicks open the door, with a "CRASH!"

D&D Context Edit

  • Bull's Strength is a 2nd-level spell that provides a buff to a character's Strength score.
  • Shield of Faith is a 1st-level Cleric spell that gives a character more armor.
  • Disruption is a fictional spell that provides a weapon with something like the Disruption magical ability.

External Links Edit

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